FINDING MEANING
Have you ever felt stuck in your life’s pattern? As I reflect on my life, I realize my path has been filled with intense and exciting experiences. Still, I have caught myself dreaming of living on a Greek island, working remotely on matters of my choosing and at my own pace. Have you had similar wishes?
As a westerner, I have been raised with the mantra “when you want, you can”. Let’s think about the thousands of decisions we make every day. We are the only ones to decide whether to jump out of bed or snooze the alarm for a bit, take a shower or a bath, become a vegetarian, a flexitarian, or a meat eater. Every day, we are the final decision-makers. While attractive, I find the individual’s free will theory too simplistic and oppressive for some individuals.
What range of power do individuals have when making their choices?
Being free implies the absence of external constraints so that you can do or say whatever you want. For example, I decided to avoid eating meat and drastically reduced my consumption of fish. Why? Because I wanted to focus on what was in my control when it came to the fight against climate change. Besides, I wanted to honor my values of responsibility and citizenship.
Yet, some people may say I was actually influenced by my friends, readings, or work in making such a choice. I cannot help but wonder: What if our actions were influenced by our ecosystem and our thoughts rather than influenced by facts? For example, despite the scientific evidence, some individuals believe that humans are not responsible for climate change.
Can external causes influence our decision-making ability?
Many authors have demonstrated that events are actually determined by previously existing causes. Sociologist Durkheim explained that our ideas, thoughts, habits, and actions are actually strongly influenced by the socio-economic context in which we live. I wouldn’t be who I am - some people would say a “bobo” enjoying an international career - without my family’s social backgrounds, values, and network, among other factors.
I am sure my roots have had a strong influence on my current life’s conditions. Yet, is everything pre-designed for us? Are we blind or naive when making choices?
What if our freedom depended on our power of perception?
Rather than considering Humans as automatons or omnipotent, Freud introduced a third-way of thinking with his concepts of the “ego”, “id”, and “superego”. These interacting agents, representing our conscious, unconscious, and subconscious brains, are nourished by our ecosystem, social norms, inner thoughts, impulses, and desires. Basically, we face several sources of influences, either intrinsic or extrinsic, when living our lives.
Through psychoanalysis, we understand our power and responsibility, is to turn our unconscious patterns of thinking into conscious patterns. By doing so, we can free ourselves from our limiting beliefs.
Would accepting our inner and outer determinants increase our freedom?
Having the willpower to acknowledge and detach ourselves from our determinants can give us control to build our future. We can change our mindset in regards to our circumstances. We can allow ourselves to imagine the future on our own terms. Yes, this may seem exhausting. I personally don’t always succeed in doing so. But it's worth trying!
For the philosopher Descartes, real freedom is obtained when our will and our intellect (unlimited vs. limited capacities) are harmoniously aligned. It makes me wonder: What if freedom was a question of balance? The balance between accepting our roots as our inner determinants while freely creating our future possibilities, the balance between our physical limitations and our unlimited imagination, the balance between our expectations and our trust in the unknown.
ACTUALIZING YOUR CHANGE
The tool
Do you want to gain back freedom in choosing your life path? Start by understanding your deep drivers and blockages. Then align your action with your expectations.
Easier said than done. I KNOW! Here are a few tricks to help you move the needle: the twisted four-year-old favorite Game of “Why”!
First, consider your wish: "I would like X".
Then keep digging for the root cause. Ask yourself “what does X tells me that is important?” You may find out you need Y. Repeat the question; “what does Y tells me that is important for me?” and so on until nothing more comes out.
Finally, go backward and assess how such a core driver affects your behavior.
The illustration
Let’s take the example of a social entrepreneur willing to get women at the board level and facing resistance from the founders. The conversation with a coach could go something like this:
The Coach: What does that wish for women at the board level says about you that is so important?
The Changemaker: Well, it’s obvious: equality. And I am mad because clearly this is not recognized and …
The Coach: Ok, let’s focus on that notion for a bit if you will. What does equality give you that is even more important?
The Changemaker: Well, the recognition of the power of diversity
The Coach: Oh, and what does this recognition brings you that is even more precious?
The Changemaker: Hum… acceptance of all human beings. Nothing is more important than this, don’t think?
The Coach: What’s the value of being accepted fully and completely?
The Changemaker: I recognize myself and don’t need external recognition anymore. I welcome my difference and one of the others as a gift and as an asset.
The Coach: And how does that change of perception help you with your project to lobby for more women at the board level?
The Changemaker: Well, Women should not be represented because they are women. We simply need to find different players that will enrich the debate and decision at the board level. So women yes but not anyone and not only women. I need to find the talents and experiences we are missing for. If the founders understand the value of such diverse people for our start-up, we should not fight anymore.
The Mantra
”Better an error-corrected than no error at all”
It comes from Charles Pepin’s book “Ceci n’est pas un manuel de philosophie” which beautifully simplifies philosophical concepts without damaging their depth and meaning.
Over to you:
What life experimentation do you want to start today?
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What was useful to you in this article? Hit the reply or comment button and let me know! Besides, if you want support to find (or refine) your purpose and boost your impact on society and on the planet through professional activities, feel free to contact me using this form (English / French)